Grooming a Victim...

I'm sure we have all heard the term "grooming"....but what does it mean in terms of abuse?

Grooming is how an abuser subtly takes control of their victim. No victim would just willingly CHOOSE to be abused!!

Please understand this is a MYTH that people on the outside often use when casually saying they could have avoided it, they allowed it, or they accept it...therefore they like it. 

An abuser breaks down their victims defenses by SLOWLY desensitizing the natural reaction to abusive behaviors.

If you combine lots of positive behaviors with the abuse...it won't look like or feel like abuse. 

Abusers come across as very sweet, charming and loving...that's how they win you over. Those same qualities shine through to your friends and family. Before long you and everyone thinks "isn't he amazing/wonderful/the best". Then the 1st violations are normally those of boundary issues (popping up unannounced...because they miss you, care for you, or are concerned). This is   RED FLAG ❗️ and should not be dismissed. They then attempt to implicate you innaimentaboo act that goes against the social norms, therefore creating a special bond which leads to secrecy and shame. This part is CLUTCH....Now....the victim feels trapped!!

"Every time we impose our will on another, it is an act of violence"

-Gandhi